I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
