I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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