I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
