is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
