i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
