someone get that fucking seahorse.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
