3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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