New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
