Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
