She announced her abortion via fbk
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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