Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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