I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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