I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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