I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
