Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
