my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
