The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
