All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
