ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
