Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
