Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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