I'm really into asian looking animals
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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