I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
