it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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