I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize