What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
