: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
