You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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