Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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