the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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