Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
