I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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