Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
