she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
this is an emotional support booty call
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
