He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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