Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize
