That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
