Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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