im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
