Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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