My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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