I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
