Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
