Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
