You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
