soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
