i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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