Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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