why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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