don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The power of my boobs compel you
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
