Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
