you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize