Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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