now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
