I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
should my penis look like a turkey
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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