how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
