god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
