I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
