my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
