Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
